Messi should play with a biohazard sign on the back of his shirt.
Messi is as elusive as a moonbeam.
Ronaldo has the nerve of a safecracker.
This stadium gives you goosebumps the size of coconuts.
[On Vazquez assist for Ronaldo goal] Lucas Vazquez sees the Dark Invader [Cristiano Ronaldo] arriving with the intimidating directness of a torpedo. One touch, one look,… and one beautiful goal.
[On Real Madrid midfielder Kroos goal] Toni Kroos so cool with that finish. Like a bomb disposal expert.
On this wet pitch, defenders will be skating around like a three-legged giraffe on roller skates.
Messi has better balance than a one-legged man trying to stand up in a hammock.
[On legendary Barcelona midfielder Sergio Busquets] If you watch the game, you don’t see Busquets. If you watch Busquets, you see the whole game.
Sevilla’s defense [against Real Madrid] is like Tom chasing Jerry. They aint never gonna catch ’em.