Playing football is very simple. But playing simple football is the hardest thing there is.

[Prior to Atletico Madrid versus Real Madrid game] The gladiators in the tunnel exchange civil words before this civil war.

[On Messi goal] The madness of Messi. Where the insane becomes the predictable.

The attack falls apart like six-week-old broccoli.

The Intel 3D camera gives us another bird’s-eye view of that Messi free kick. I tell you… what lucky birds.

Messi could shave a mouse in its sleep and not wake it.

Messi free kicks are more dangerous than a sunlamp to an albino.

Magisterial Messi showing again that he’s got chromosomes swimming around in that body of his that belong in a Bengal tiger.

Ronaldo was sharper than a porcupine’s backside with that finish.

Ronaldo executes with extreme prejudice and prettiness.