Quotes about Soccer

[On Liverpool defender Stephane Henchoz trying to stop him] First I went left; he did too. Then I went right and he did too. Then I went left again and he went to buy a hot dog.

What [John] Carew does with a football, I can do with an orange.

[On Arsene Wenger telling him to try out for Arsenal as a teenager] Zlatan doesn’t do auditions.

Swedish style? No. Yugoslavian style? Of course not. It has to be Zlatan-style.

I can’t help but laugh at how perfect I am.

Both these defences have been working harder than a one-eyed cat, covering 3 mouse holes.

He’s a one-man battleship, [David] De Gea. Where’s his critics now?

On to this one quicker than a jackrabbit on a hot date. Look at this finish! That is beyond world class.

Oh my sweet lord. What a ball! What a pass! The ball is magisterial. The finish is nothing less than stupefying.