[On Odion Ighalo goal for Granada against Barcelona] Not the Fall of Granada, the Fall of Barcelona.

Angel Di Maria stretching Barcelona like spandex on Fort Lauderdale beach for that goal.

I wonder sometimes about being so one-footed like that. A little bit like Long John Silver sometimes just with the one leg.

Finding Cristiano Ronaldo in form like this is like fighting an alligator in your toilet bowl.

Superbowl stadium lights gone out… call Messi, he’d illuminate any arena.

Is it just me, or does the Oscar statue look like Cristiano Ronaldo? Jeez I need a break.

[On Fiorentina goal] Fiorentina fans put on a bib because they’re gonna be drooling.

[On Stefan Jovetic goal from Aquilani assist] He was a bit fortunate this time, but fortune favors the brave. Absolutely Ibra-cadabra stuff from Aquilani to set it up.

Inter [Milan] fans crying into their Moretti beers saying ‘What’s gone wrong?’

[On Inter Milan managed by Andrea Stramaccioni] Right from the get-go, Stramaccioni’s team all discombobulated and just a set of marbles rolling around on granite out there.