[On Real Madrid midfielder Kroos goal] Toni Kroos so cool with that finish. Like a bomb disposal expert.
On this wet pitch, defenders will be skating around like a three-legged giraffe on roller skates.
Messi has better balance than a one-legged man trying to stand up in a hammock.
[On legendary Barcelona midfielder Sergio Busquets] If you watch the game, you don’t see Busquets. If you watch Busquets, you see the whole game.
Sevilla’s defense [against Real Madrid] is like Tom chasing Jerry. They aint never gonna catch ’em.
[On Cristiano Ronaldo stance before taking free kick] 5 steps back. And gunslinger pose.
[On Stefan Jovetic goal for Inter Milan] The goal of the week around planet Earth, and it sends El Presidente into Barry White Discoland this time. 11 out of 10.
[On David Pizarro of Inter Milan] Walking around languid like smoke off a cigarette, but playing so well.
Angel Di Maria stretching Barcelona like spandex on Fort Lauderdale beach for that goal.
Fiorentina absolutely bubbling like a witch’s brew here.