[Jose] Mourinho is Guardiola’s opposite. If Mourinho brightens up the room, Guardiola pulls down the curtains and I guessed that Guardiola now tried to measure himself with him.
Then [Pep] Guardiola started his philosopher thing. I was barely listening. Why would I? It was advanced bull**** about blood, sweat and tears, that kind of stuff.
It was the fault of David Trezeguet, who made me do one drink of vodka after another. I slept in the bathtub. Now I hold my vodka much better.
If [Wayne Rooney] still wants to move next summer, or in January, I would urge him to come and play with me in Paris. If he did join, he would have to get used to the fact that Zlatan scores even better goals than him.
[Oguchi] Onyewu resembled a heavyweight boxer. He was nearly 6-foot-5 and weighed over 15 stone, but he couldn’t handle me.
I didn’t injure you on purpose and you know that. If you accuse me again I’ll break both your legs, and that time it will be on purpose.
I can play in the 11 positions because a good player can play anywhere.
[On Mario Balotellli’s fireworks accident] I like fireworks too, but I set them off in gardens or in kebab stands. I never set fire to my own house.
An injured Zlatan is a serious thing for any team.
I don’t give a s**t who wins [Euro 2012]. I’m going on holiday.