[Jose] Mourinho is Guardiola’s opposite. If Mourinho brightens up the room, Guardiola pulls down the curtains

Then [Pep] Guardiola started his philosopher thing. I was barely listening.

It was the fault of David Trezeguet, who made me do one drink of vodka after another. I slept in the bathtub.

If [Wayne Rooney] still wants to move next summer, or in January, I would urge him to come and play with me in Paris.

[Oguchi] Onyewu resembled a heavyweight boxer. He was nearly 6-foot-5 and weighed over 15 stone, but he couldn’t handle me.

I didn’t injure you on purpose and you know that. If you accuse me again I’ll break both your legs, and that time it will be on purpose.

I can play in the 11 positions because a good player can play anywhere.

[On Mario Balotellli’s fireworks accident] I like fireworks too, but I set them off in gardens or in kebab stands. I never set fire to my own house.

An injured Zlatan is a serious thing for any team.

I don’t give a s**t who wins [Euro 2012]. I’m going on holiday.