Last night I stayed up late playing poker with Tarot cards. I got a full house and four people died.
When I die, I’m leaving my body to science fiction.
I used to work in a fire hydrant factory. You couldn’t park anywhere near the place.
When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, ‘Did you sleep good?’ I said ‘No, I made a few mistakes.’
There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
Last year I went fishing with Salvador Dali. He was using a dotted line. He caught every other fish.
My theory of evolution is that Darwin was adopted.
Curiosity killed the cat, but for a while I was a suspect.