Brave header. The Charruas [Uruguay national team], man – they will fight tigers inside the box.
[On James Rodriguez goal] Tumble-drier possession again from Real Madrid, just ripping apart Granada, who defensively are like marbles on a glass table.
[On Messi winning goal for Barcelona against Real Madrid in El Clasico] Again, the medicine man arrives and sinks his flaming spear into the hearts of Real Madrid.
[On James Rodriguez goal] Again, the man from Colombia gives all the caffeine, the way Los Cafeteros do.
Both these defences have been working harder than a one-eyed cat covering three mouse holes.
[On a Cristiano Ronaldo free kick goal against Atletico Madrid] Are you kidding me?! Astonishing!! This is not just a dream, it’s a wet dream of orgasmic proportions.
Both these defences have been working harder than a one-eyed cat, covering 3 mouse holes.
He’s a one-man battleship, [David] De Gea. Where’s his critics now?
On to this one quicker than a jackrabbit on a hot date. Look at this finish! That is beyond world class.
Oh my sweet lord. What a ball. What a pass! The ball is magisterial. The finish is nothing less than stupefying.