[On Real Madrid midfielder Kroos goal] Toni Kroos so cool with that finish.

On this wet pitch, defenders will be skating around like a three-legged giraffe on roller skates.

Messi has better balance than a one-legged man trying to stand up in a hammock.

Sevilla’s defense [against Real Madrid] is like Tom chasing Jerry. They aint never gonna catch ’em.

[On Cristiano Ronaldo stance before taking free kick] 5 steps back. And gunslinger pose.

I think he got his theodolite out there and actually measured the

[On Stefan Jovetic goal for Inter Milan] The goal of the week aro

[On Stefan Jovetic goal from Aquilani assist] He was a bit fortun

This is a Cabaret goal and Stefan Jovetic is Liza Minnelli here.

I wonder sometimes about being so one-footed like that. A little