[On Real Madrid midfielder Kroos goal] Toni Kroos so cool with that finish. Like a bomb disposal expert.
On this wet pitch, defenders will be skating around like a three-legged giraffe on roller skates.
Messi has better balance than a one-legged man trying to stand up in a hammock.
Sevilla’s defense [against Real Madrid] is like Tom chasing Jerry. They aint never gonna catch ’em.
[On Cristiano Ronaldo stance before taking free kick] 5 steps back. And gunslinger pose.
I think he got his theodolite out there and actually measured the bending of the light.
[On Stefan Jovetic goal for Inter Milan] The goal of the week around planet Earth, and it sends El Presidente into Barry White Discoland this time. 11 out of 10.
[On Stefan Jovetic goal from Aquilani assist] He was a bit fortunate this time, but fortune favors the brave. Absolutely Ibra-cadabra stuff from Aquilani to set it up.
This is a Cabaret goal and Stefan Jovetic is Liza Minnelli here. The placement is magisterial.
I wonder sometimes about being so one-footed like that. A little bit like Long John Silver sometimes just with the one leg.