Edible: Good to eat, and wholesome to digest, as a worm to a toad, a toad to a snake, a snake to a pig, a pig to a man, and a man to a worm.
Egotist: A man of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.
Destiny: A tyrant’s authority for crime and a fool’s excuse for failure.
Aristocrats: Fellows that wear downy hats and clean shirts – guilty of education and suspected of bank accounts.
Corporation: An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.
Diary: A daily record of that part of one’s life which he can relate to himself without blushing.
A bore is a person who talks when you wish him to listen.
Architect: One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money.
Alligator: The crocodile of America, superior in every detail to the crocodile of the effete monarchies of the Old World.
Advice: The suggestions you give someone else which you hope will work for your benefit.